the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
