Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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