So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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