i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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