Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
