and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
