Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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