Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
