I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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