absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize