I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
