in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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