Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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