I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
