You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
