i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
