I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
