I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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