I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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