If i come over, it means nothing
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
