At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
