I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize