Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
