It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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