the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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