OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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