My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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