I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
