i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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