I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
ok first of all what the fuck
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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