I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
