marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All I want is dick and wine.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
