its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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