No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
