Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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