my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
only if we run a train.
done.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
