There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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