all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
