Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
