he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
