i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize