then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize