If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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