I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
