stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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