guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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