oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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