help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
