Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
