Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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