he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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