She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
