Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
