yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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