every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize