So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
