What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize