I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
