I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
