That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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